Things That Shouldn't Fly
by RainbowsGalore
Summary: Oneshots centered around the time period that the flock stays at the Martinez.


**So…hello! I'm Goat. This is my first fanfiction for Maximum Ride! I really love this series, and really love Iggy…**

**Iggy: WHAT!**

**Me: Hehe…**

**Iggy: What do you mean you love me? Are you insane? Are you trying to-MPH! **

**Me: *hand over his mouth* Why don't you just do the disclaimer, and forget about this?**

**Iggy: *muffled speech***

**Me: Oh, right! *takes hand off***

**Iggy: Goat doesn't own me at all! No one can own me! I AM TOO AMAZING FOR THAT!**

**Me: When I marry you, you'll be mine! MWAHAHA!**

**Angel: *suddenly appears* My, oh my! Another evil person! (Oh, and she doesn't own the series at all)**

**Me: *in big announcer voice* And now introducing…THE NEW IGGY FIC! (with no bit of romance, because I can't stand reading/writing about him with another girl…)**

**Oh, and by the way, I stink at first person, so I'll be writing this in the third, from Iggy's point of view.**

* * *

"Hey, Igster!" Nudge yelled, crashing into Iggy's room. Without knocking.

"Go away!" Iggy muttered, shoving his head under his pillow.

Nude whipped the covers off of Iggy, causing him to curl into a small, feeble ball. Growling, Iggy lifted his head out from under the pillow.

"What time is it?!" he snapped, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Five AM!" Nudge said cheerfully. "We all have to get up early, because we're going to that amusement park! Dr. Martinez said that we all have to get up early, because it's so far away! And last night, she told _me _to get _you _up first so that you can make breakfast. She told _me _because I always get up first. Well, today Angel and Gazzy got up before me, but that's only because they're so excited! Anywa-" Nudge was cut off when Iggy nailed her with his pillow.

"Still not getting up!" he grumbled, wishing for his blanket.

"Well, _too _bad!" Nudge grinned rather evilly.

Suddenly, icy, freezing cold water was dripping down Iggy's hair, wetting his shirt and slowly travelling south. He let out a rather impressive yell before springing up from his bed and yelling "Nudge, I am going to KILL you!"

Nudge screamed and zipped out of the room. Iggy started to chase after her when he felt his foot collide with a metal bucket.

"OW!" he yelled, hopping around in circles on his left foot while massaging his injured one. He only realized that this was a bad idea when his heel knocked against the pillow, making him slowly tip backwards, sprawling out onto the floor.

"Could some _please _tell me where the door is?!" yelled a fuming Iggy, wondering where the heck he was in his room.

It took eight minutes to find the door. Anger, wetness, coldness, injury and tiredness mixed together tend to make one lose their bearings. Especially if one were blind as a dead mouse.

On the _up_ side, Iggy was making breakfast (like always). He decided that he was TOTALLY going to disguise something creepy and disgusting in their food.

On the _down _side, however, Iggy was making breakfast. Breakfast that would be wolfed down by ungrateful boogers with no taste for fine cuisine!

Once he found the door, Iggy stomped down to the kitchen, planning his revenge. He was certain that it wasn't only Nudge and Dr. Martinez plotting against him. Everyone deserved to be punished!

Which is why, when Iggy made breakfast, he put a "surprise" in his instead of Nudge's. Ha! Revenge was sweet.

* * *

"EW! THERE'S A SPIDER IN MY OATMEAL!" Ella screamed, hopping onto her chair.

"There's dog poo in mine!" Angel sniffed. And Iggy had even put blueberries on hers! Now it was ruined!

"Is that...hair?" Fang asked in disgust, wrinkling his nose as he inspected it closer. Indeed, a whole wad of it was right in the middle.

"I think there's a booger in mine...GROSS!" Max winced, backing away from her oatmeal slowly.

"There's a slobbery dog toy in mine! EW, AND IT LOOKS LIKE A HEART." Gazzy yelled, having mistakingly held it in his hands. Now, he himself was covered in dog slobber.

Dr. Martinez didn't even want to know what the lump in hers was.

Iggy took a bite of his, then spat it out. "Who put salt in mine?" he demanded, glaring at no one in particular.

Nudge looked down at hers. Nothing in it. She took a bite. It tasted really good...her eyes widened. "There's nothing in mine...which is really strange, because..." Nuge stopped speaking as soon as she realized what was happening.

Everyone whirled their heads at Nudge. Time seemed to slow down. Any movement, any sound, and all hell would break loose.

It was then that Gazzy figured he couldn't hold it in any longer, and let out a big one.

Max was the first to start screaming.

* * *

Iggy chuckled at the screaming and fighting in the kitchen. He had snuck out of there when no one would notice him, ensuring his safety.

Well, he _was _safe. Until everyone figured out the truth. But that wouldn't happen until...

"IGGY!"

Oops. He'd better run.


End file.
